Sex can be an uncomfortable topic of conversation for some, and in some places, an uncomfortable topic of conversation for most. Add a health consideration and the conversation almost always stops.
I have written in the past about sex and multiple sclerosis (MS) for the National MS SocietyIt is MS Blogand more recently organized a webcast with two health professionals on the subject.
Some recent writings on sex, aging and hypertension
Two news stories came across my screen in recent weeks, both related to sex in the context of other health considerations. They made me think maybe it was time to talk about it again
The first, an opinion piece for Medscape written by medical ethicist Arthur L. Caplan, PhD, discussed sex and aging while living in a nursing home. The specific topic focused on a woman’s discomfort with the fact that her mother, a consenting adult with mild dementia, engaged in sexual activity. This highlighted the rather prudish attitudes some people have towards sex in our advanced years.
The second was a commentary for Medscape by sexual medicine specialist Pebble Kranz, MD, on a study conducted in The Journal of Sexual Medicine. In the study, researchers found a significant association between lower sexual frequency and higher mortality (all causes) among young and middle-aged people with hypertension. The commentator asks whether “pleasure hygiene” (akin to sleep hygiene) could be a subject for reflection.
What would “pleasure hygiene” include?
For those wondering, Dr. Kranz suggests that aspects of pleasure hygiene would include:
- Encourage open communication with partner(s) and offer resources to develop communication skills.
- Consider the needs for physical and emotional preparation for sexual play: adequate rest, preparation of the environment for bodily fluids, pillows for comfort or positioning aids, and plenty of lubricant on hand.
- Allow plenty of time for sexual play and encourage the ability to adapt or stop and start again – with humor and self-compassion.
- Use sexual aids to enhance pleasure.
It’s time to discuss more openly and respectfully
Both texts highlight the need for a more open and respectful conversation within the health field about sex as it relates to both health and aging – or health. And aging for those of us who are aging with health problems.
If doctors are not comfortable talking with us about our sexual well-being and fun, how are we supposed to be comfortable talking with them about these important aspects of our lives?
If sexual activity and pleasure are part of our lives and help us to thrive and be happy, then they should be considered in our treatment plan to live our best life within the limits of our illness. And our care team – primary care doctors, neurologists, MS specialists, everyone – must be aware and comfortable with our thoughts and needs.
Unlike our elderly woman’s daughter seeking romance and pleasure in the care facility where she needed to live, I applaud those who understand their desires for sexual pleasure, regardless of the difficulties of age and illness.
In fact, if the clinical implications of the study linked above are to be considered – and they are that “increased frequency of sexual activity may have protective effects on patients’ overall health and quality of life suffering from hypertension” – then I am all for increased attention in the doctor’s office and at home (even in a nursing home).
I wish you and your family the best of health.
Cheers,
Trevis
My book Chef interrupted is available on Amazon. Follow me on Life with MS Facebook Pageand learn more about Life with multiple sclerosis.
