In the age of COVID-19, self-isolation, and inevitable uncertainty, the topics of personal development and self-care have come up more for my patients than they might have in the “ normal life.” (What is still normal?)
While we all stay home, we may have fewer obligations or more time to fulfill. At the same time, we may be trying to distract ourselves from all the bad news around us, thereby alleviating our inevitable anxiety, or try to use this time to improve ourselves in some way. These goals all have some importance on a case-by-case basis, but it’s important to accurately distinguish two similar but different ideas here: personal development and self-care.
Self-care
Self-care is just that: doing something to take care of yourself. This might include a relaxing activity like yoga, a bath, reading a book, or something that helps someone else clear their mind, like going for a walk outside.
Self-care is a practice that aims to self-soothe, but can be different for each person. For example, someone may consider watching a favorite TV show to be a way of self-care, while for someone else it may not look like self-care, and even more so, it represents abandoning one’s self-care regime which includes showering, bathing. cup of coffee and chat with a spouse. There is no general example of self-care, but it should ideally achieve certain goals.
Self-care should be deliberate. This should be something you consider doing for the sole purpose of taking care of yourself, and nothing else. At the same time, self-care should hopefully make you feel a little better during or afterward. Self-care should aim to improve your emotional well-being and therefore elicit positive rather than negative emotions. If you try something to take care of yourself and it doesn’t feel good, try something else!
Personal development
Personal development, on the other hand, is defined as doing something to improve yourself. For example, learning a new language or getting in better physical shape are examples of personal development, as is enrolling in a course or online training tailored to your profession. Personal development aims to improve a skill or introduce a new area of expertise that could make you feel empowered, emotionally, physically or intellectually. Personal development is inherently a form of productivity.
Self-care and personal development are important activities, but serve very different purposes, especially in the current state of the world. Some people may be able to use this time to improve or develop a new skill, and that’s wonderful, but for others, it may just not be the right time to embark on new learning or a new physical activity.
For some people, managing their new daily lives, balancing caring for children, trying to continue working from home, all while trying to deal with the immense loss of the world, can be overwhelming and therefore leave little room for cognitive abilities, emotional or emotional. literal space for personal development. Deciding what’s best for you right now is a complicated process, but one worth exploring through personal reflection.
For example, for me personally, I know I feel more depressed than usual when death rates filter through my phone, and even a little angry when I uncertainly imagine what my professional life will look like when the world will no longer be in order. crisis. For me, taking time for self-care is more effective in maintaining my mental health for the moment than finally brushing up on my Spanish skills.
However, my partner does better psychologically when his mind is occupied and is currently taking an online course that includes lectures and work outside of class. To be honest, it seems utterly miserable to me, but to them it’s a healthy coping mechanism.
Another important aspect of this distinction to remember is that comparing yourself to how someone else uses that time probably won’t help you. Everyone is handling the current state of the world differently, and if you’re intentional and aware of what you need on a daily basis, there’s nothing wrong with that.
The word “unprecedented” is starting to become triggering for me given the hundreds (maybe thousands?) of articles I’ve read about COVID-19 and the way each of them begins with the phrase “unprecedented period”. Putting this aside (as much as I can), I am also forced to remind myself that this is correct; this period is truly unique. There is no “right” or “wrong” way to deal with what is happening in our world right now. It’s terrifying, disorienting, and objectively bad. Do what works for you and let yourself go. Take time for yourself now, however you can and in the form that works best for you.
Stay focused on your emotions,
Dr. Lukin
