What does self-care look like to you? Sheet masks? Less time spent in front of a screen? A lot of sleep? All solid options. Or how about a leaf grab orgasm with yourself?
“Masturbation is a key step in my well-being routine,” explains Lulu, 24, public relations manager. “I do it every day and I love having that time to myself,” she says. “It allows me to stay in touch with my body and my mind. » Emma, 27, lawyer, masturbates to relax. “I do it every night before I go to sleep,” she says. “It helps me relax after a stressful day at work and saves me valuable time, which I don’t always get when I’m busy juggling life.” And Olivia*, 30, a nurse, organizes a “self-love session” every week. “It’s an hour-long event for me and no one else; it’s to reflect on myself and cherish myself privately,” she says. “I also put on music, lingerie and take photos of myself. It’s fun, it’s nourishing – physically and mentally.
Yes, women like masturbation. This is neither surprising nor new. After all, ancient Greek poetry described women pleasuring themselves, and archaeologists have unearthed dildos dating back 30,000 years. But even though her history has been turbulent, these readers point to a shift in how women view self-pleasure in 2020.
According to The recent GLAMOR survey, answered by more than 1,000 women, 92% of us do it – and 79% see it as a way to take care of ourselves. “Sexual well-being is just as important as my mental and physical well-being, and I can gauge the state of my mental health based on my libido,” says Lulu. “When I lose my desire to masturbate, it reminds me to check in with myself to see what might be causing this.”
Today, “take care of yourself” is a powerful refrain. Originally a medical term with roots in the civil rights, women’s and LGBTQ movements of the 1960s and 1970s, the concept was amplified by African-American activist Audre Lorde who wrote: “Taking care of me is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and it is an act of political warfare” in his 1988 book A burst of light.
Since then, the meaning has become remarkably flexible. In theory, if something helps us feel better mentally or physically, it is considered self-care. But critics say the 23.8 million #SelfCare posts on Instagram showing everything from chic spa facilities to slogans telling us to “JUST EAT THE CAKE” – as well as the billion-pound consumer industry that has grown around this term – have diluted self-care. powerful political and health message.
Yet this growing connection between self-care and masturbation reinforces it. The sex-positive feminist movement has encouraged women’s voices to destigmatize persistent taboos — and a recent wave of pioneers are normalizing the debate around masturbation, talking about it in the same language used in the wellness industry. Brands like audio sex app Ferly, a digital space for women to explore what pleasure means to them, view sexual well-being as the third pillar of our health, alongside physical and mental health.
“We champion the idea that sexual self-care is a practice dedicated to your well-being that helps you reclaim your body,” says Billie Quinlan, co-founder of Ferly, who has spoken to hundreds of women since launching the application last June. year. Pointing out its body-mapping feature – where users can consciously explore their pleasure hotspots – Billie says many people are used to seeing masturbation as a quick, functional act, but “it’s not really about scratching a itching. It’s about taking the time to slow down, connect and be intimate with ourselves when the pace of life is so fast that it’s easy to feel totally distant from ourselves and our body.
