How many of us are guilty of spending the day caring for our children, crossing things off our to-do list, driving from here to there to run errands, only to find ourselves at the end of our day completely exhausted? I have a feeling many of us are raising our hands. The daily lives of many of us seem to be getting busier and busier. The list of our commitments and obligations is growing. With this, we may feel like our metaphorical gas tank is empty.
Most of us have heard of self-care. We know it’s important. We may even know some things we “should” do to take care of ourselves. But one of the things I hear over and over again from women, in particular, is, “How can I fit self-care into my already busy day?!” » This is such a valid question. Women often find themselves giving and giving to others all day long, at work and at home, and wondering how they can possibly carve out time for themselves in this busy daily schedule.
You’re not alone if you’re asking yourself the same question. Many of us tend to prioritize our daily tasks in an order similar to the following: family, work, household chores (cooking, shopping, laundry, etc.), activities or other commitments, and last but not least taking care of ourselves . Rinse and repeat. We consistently place self-care as our top priority. When it comes last on the list, it’s the one that can most easily be skipped entirely if we’re short on time.
So what happens when we don’t make time for self-care in our daily schedule? I don’t know about you, but I know that when I don’t make time or prioritize self-care in my day, my patience levels head south. It’s much easier to become sneaky and less understanding when interacting with others. What happens when self-care is not part of our daily lives?
Consequences of not practicing self-care:
- Low battery
- Feeling of hopelessness
- Less patience
- Increased headaches, stomach aches, and other physical symptoms of stress
- Difficulty falling asleep and staying asleep
- Challenges in Choosing Healthy Foods and Craving “Comfort” Foods
- Worsening mental health symptoms like depression or anxiety
- Feeling “exhausted”
- Difficulty concentrating
- Tension or distancing in the relationship with your spouse or partner
- Less patience with your children
- Reduced performance at work
- Less motivation to engage in social activities
It’s no surprise that when we neglect our own self-care, it catches up with us. All of the above symptoms and consequences that occur when we don’t take the time to take better care of ourselves can add up quickly. Have you noticed any of these symptoms or reactions in yourself? Maybe you did, but you don’t know how to change it. Changing habits we’ve been stuck in for a long time can be a challenge. But you CAN do it.
“But how?” you may be wondering. The best way to bring about behavior change is to make it as simple, realistic and achievable as possible. What does that mean? This means making sure you’re not expecting something that won’t be achievable in your everyday life. For example, in a perfect world, most of us would like to receive an hour-long massage every day, take a bubble bath every evening, and enjoy a relaxing gourmet meal every day. Is this possible for most of us? No. Instead, we need to look carefully at what is actually possible. Start small.
Below is a list of self-care ideas. Choose even one item that you think you can fit into your day. Maybe try implementing something in the morning so you know you won’t run out of time before you get a chance to do it. The key here is to simply try. Are you going to do it perfectly every day? Of course not. Maybe you’ve tried one of these ideas, and it just didn’t give you the peaceful boost you were hoping for. So try another idea below. Keep trying until you find something that gives you the result you’re looking for.
Pay attention to how you feel after taking the time to take care of yourself. What do you notice the rest of your day? Do you find that you are calmer and more patient with others? Do you sleep better at night? The more we do something, the more likely it is to become a positive habit. That’s the secret to self-care – making it a habit so that it’s something we don’t question, just like eating dinner is something we don’t usually feel guilty about prioritizing.
Self-care ideas:
- Make a gratitude list
- Listen to upbeat or relaxing music
- Take five minutes to sit down and put your feet up
- Stand in the shower with hot water running down your back
- Ask your spouse or partner for a foot or back massage
- Go for a walk during your lunch break
- Listen to a meditation (“Insight Timer” is a free app for meditations)
- Take an Epsom salt bath
- Schedule a date with your spouse, partner or friends to connect without distractions
- Enjoy a cup of hot tea
- Spend five minutes breathing deeply
- Get a manicure or pedicure or treat yourself to one
- Turn off your phone for 30 minutes
- Take a yoga class
- Light a good-smelling candle
- Write in a journal for five minutes
- Read a book for 20 minutes
- Go to bed 15 minutes earlier
- Unfollow someone on social media who is negative or hurtful to you
If you feel overwhelmed by the need to make changes to better prioritize your own self-care, help is available. Especially if we are struggling with mental health issues, it can be very difficult to find the energy or motivation to start making changes to improve ourselves. Seeing a therapist can help you break down your goals into easier, achievable steps, and support you in making yourself a priority.
