“I had no filter and I talked to everyone, everywhere,” Horn said.
Teachers reprimanded her for interrupting and blurting out answers. When she tried to talk to kids at her school, they often rejected her, she said.
People who talk excessively are called “compulsive talkers” and “oversharers.” Talkativeness can be a personality trait, but sometimes talking a lot can come from health conditions such as attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), autism, generalized anxiety disorder, and bipolar disorder.
For Horn, now 54, an adult diagnosis of ADHD provided the first insight into excessive talking, as well as childhood restlessness and difficulty concentrating on tasks, she said.
Speaking impulsively could be linked to ADHD
ADHDa neurodevelopmental disease, includes symptoms such as inattention, hyperactivity and impulsivity.
Not everyone with ADHD talks a lot, but among those who do, “impulsivity is at the root of it all,” said L. Eugene Arnoldpsychiatrist and resident expert at Children and Adults with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (CHADD), an ADHD education and advocacy group. “They tend to act impulsively, speak impulsively, and think impulsively.”
During his teenage years, Horn would often be happy that a conversation was going well, only to discover later that the others had felt bored.
“In this energy, we’re so excited to talk, we want to talk, we want to share what we know, but the listener doesn’t understand,” she said. “They’ll say negative terms, like ‘You’re inconsiderate, disrespectful, self-centered, narcissistic.’ You’re rambling too much, which doesn’t reflect our intent and makes it so discouraging.
Autism is often marked by communication problems
Autistic people are also misunderstood, said Andy Shih, scientific director of Autism Speaks, an advocacy organization that sponsors autism research. It is not always obvious whether a person has autism, which is often marked by difficulties with social communication and restricted topics of interest.
Some autistic people are nonverbal, but others can be very talkative. “Typical social interactions between neurotypical individuals are more difficult for autistic people,” Shih said.
In a typical conversation, “you can pick up on the signals that you’re taking turns, when the question ends, when the series of statements ends, so you can initiate an interaction,” he said. “Sometimes with autistic people it’s harder to pick up on these social cues.»
People with autism may have difficulty moving from one conversation, topic or area to another, Shih said. “It’s more comfortable to just continue on something they know and keep talking,” he said. “This is not a sign of rudeness or narcissism. It’s just the way their brains are wired.
Some autistic people are fascinated by Lego collections, Star Wars movies and trivia and train schedules, for example, Shih said. An autistic friend in Japan knows all the sports statistics of sumo wrestlers, Shih said..
“You often see people rolling their eyes,” Shih said. “Sometimes when you talk to an autistic person, they talk about things that really interest them. This interest does not always translate to other people. »
Generalized anxiety disorder and worry
Generalized anxiety disorder manifests itself as persistent, excessive worry that interferes with daily life.
People who suffer from it “worry about everything: what did they do wrong, what should happen next, what is the decision to make,” said Christian Kohler, professor of psychiatry at the Perelman School of Medicine at the University of Pennsylvania. “These are people who can be very verbose and always need feedback. »
Mania is linked to rapid, wordy speech
Bipolar disorder causes extreme mood swings, from emotional breakdowns such as depression to strong emotions called mania or hypomania, which are less severe.
At the start of a manic or hypomanic episode, speech remains coherent, so alarm signals may not go off, Kohler said. But “the classic change in speech is that a person becomes more verbose and the speech becomes pressured, so the pace increases,” Kohler said.
Talkative people without bipolar disorder will stop when others are speaking, but it’s difficult for others to interrupt speech under pressure, Kohler said. “This is because they have thoughts that come at a greater speed,” he said, “and so, in a colloquial sense, they want to get the words across, but there are too many thoughts.”
They feel energetic and euphoric and might be able to describe new business ideas, even if the goals are unattainable, Kohler said.
With a form called bipolar 2 disorder, people may remain hypomanic. With bipolar disorder type 1, people progress into full mania. “You get this flurry of ideas where the person moves from one topic to another that may be somewhat thematically related, but overall it makes less sense,” he said.
“In the extreme form, it makes no sense,” Kohler said.
When is talking too much a problem?
Unusual chatter doesn’t necessarily indicate a problem, Kohler said. Other symptoms specific to each health condition must be present for diagnosis by a mental health practitioner.
For example, in the case of bipolar disorder, doctors will look for other symptoms, including exaggerated self-confidence, increased activity, racing thoughts, decreased need for sleep., and poor decision-making.
“You look for other behavioral signs and ask yourself, ‘Is this affecting social, occupational, and academic functioning?’ ” Kohler said.
Bipolar disorder is often diagnosed during adolescence or early adulthood, according to the National Institute of Mental Health. “We are all sort of limited observers of our own behavior,” Kohler said. “This is where, particularly for young people, family members and caregivers play a very important role in detecting these symptoms. »
Autism is a lifelong condition, and Shih suggested allowing an autistic person to decide “whether talking too much is actually a problem for them,” he said. “For us neurotypicals, we may just think, ‘Is it really that bad?’ It’s good, right? We are all a little different.
How to Handle Excessive Talking
Horn considers himself naturally empathetic and chose a profession that involves deep listening. She is now a licensed psychologist in Spokane, Washington.
These are some strategies that have helped her manage her tendency to talk too much.
- Use a notepad to write down your thoughts. In appropriate situations, taking notes can minimize interruption and misdirection of a conversation, and serve as a reminder to resolve a problem later.
- Speak in succinct sentences. Rather than presenting a long-winded account, “use techniques such as bottom-lining, where you talk with fleas,” she said.
- Look for clues to continue. If a listener asks a closed-ended question, share little more than a yes or no answer and wait to see if the person asks to know more. “But if you want to tell them the story without being asked, ask them if they are ready to hear the story,” she said.
Whether a person has ADHD or autism, “sometimes what is perceived as different behaviors or maybe even strange behaviors, it’s not always a sign of a bad personality or a difficult personality,” Shih said. “Especially in this day and age, I think it will benefit all of us to be patient, more open-minded, and take the time to listen to each other. »
