I’m still on medication and have anxiety, but my blood pressure is under control. I have a deeper understanding of my needs. I became more empathetic. I’ve come to appreciate the days when I feel good and lean into the feelings when I don’t.
For Mental Health Awareness Month, I’ll be diving deeper into how women are taking care of themselves. Everyone has different needs, but here is a list of resources to get you started. I hope you find something that interests you or a tip that you can send to a friend.
To help, I spoke to nine women, including podcast hosts, inspirational speakers and entrepreneurs, all on their own mental health journeys.
How do you suggest approaching the topic of mental health with your boss or colleagues?
Minaa B., author of “The rivers are coming»: I truly believe that mental health and self-care is a topic that needs to be addressed in the workplace. …If you suffered from a physical illness, chances are you wouldn’t be afraid to tell your boss that you need sick leave. So when it comes to our emotional hygiene, we need to look at it from the same perspective.
Nora McInerny, host of the podcast «Terrible, thanks for asking»: My job is to be in a studio, talking to people every day about the most terrible things that have happened in their lives. Generally speaking, we are therefore in a very positive environment. After losing my husband, father, and baby for six weeks, I learned that there are times in life when your feelings will come out at work whether you like it or not. Humans are able to do their jobs while feeling their feelings.
What made you be so open about your mental health?
Mo: As a woman who identifies as both Black and Afro-Latina, within my community, mental health is heavily stigmatized. I am human first and foremost and should never be expected to be anything other than that. … Perfection is not my calling in life, nor my destiny.
How has your mental health affected your relationships, positively or negatively?
Mo: Not only was I able to show up for myself, but I was also able to show up for others in a way that I couldn’t before because I was always in a bad mood. When we learn to be a little kinder to ourselves, loving to ourselves, and courageous in our actions, we are then able to love people more, give more to people, and show others kindness. the same way we show ourselves.
NM: Anyone who could benefit from a medication should take it. There is no shame in that. My relationships always improve when I’m honest about how I feel. When I pretend to be “fine” when I’m really not, it’s actually very isolating because it doesn’t allow people to really know me or respond with any empathy. Empathy is a basic human need. Being honest about the terrible things in life is what allows us to find them.
What is the relationship between your mental health and your creativity? Do you feel like it’s made you more creative?
Anjali Pinto, photographer: There are often times when I find myself in negative cyclical thinking, but sitting down to write, create images, or think about a creative project helps me get out of that state. Turning outward through my art has brought many understanding people closer to me, which also uplifts me in dark or confusing times.
Lauren Ash, founder of Black girl in Om: I’ve just started to realize how much I have to refuse to create when I’m in a stressful or tense situation or just feeling pulled in multiple directions. And so, if that means I won’t be able to do a certain project that maybe I said I was going to do, I need to step aside and honor that, because then the project will inherently reflect that stress and tension.
Roni Frank, co-founder of Discussion area: Since starting therapy, I have learned to accept myself and others better. I am now less judgmental and I am better at listening and understanding the needs of others. My openness to others and to myself has allowed me to make less selfish choices. Being open-minded and flexible is the key to creativity.
How did the issue of mental health motivate you to create your business?
THERE: I was in graduate school and embodying tension on a spiritual level, which led me to practice yoga. As soon as I started practicing it regularly, I started to feel this well-being on a mental level. It was the beginning of my journey to discover that at the end of the day, I truly am all I need to be.
RF: My mental health journey connects me to Talkspace’s mission to expand access to mental health care without the traditional barriers of stigma, cost, and inconvenience.
What does self-care look like?
Alisha Ramos, founder of Girls’ night: It changes all the time for me. Right now, self-care means taking the time and space to go to the gym and cook at home. The last thing I do to take care of myself is not work on the weekends. I break this rule from time to time…but for the most part, it helps refresh my brain after the week.
Amber Discko, creator of the application Aloe bud: Right now, taking care of myself means equipping myself with tools and methods that I know will help me get through the day. For example, I keep my medicine box on my nightstand for easy access.
Ellen Forney, author of “Solid as a rock»: A wide network of things. Some are deliberate and situational, like keeping a sleep chart if I have insomnia issues; some are just part of my regular routine, like taking my medication and doing yoga.
Ruthie Lindsey, speaker and stylist: Self-care means being truly intentional with my time and who I spend my free time with. I have to really be intentional about carving out time for self-care, otherwise my lifestyle and work are unsustainable.
Do you have a mantra, motto, affirmations or advice that really resonates with you?
AR: I have so many. Lately I’ve been loving “It’s a Marathon, Not a Sprint.” As a business owner, you may feel like you have to do a million things at once. But when it comes to self-care, sprinting is not an option. Taking it day by day is essential and helps control anxiety.
ANNOUNCEMENT: Yes. “Do what you gotta do, kid” is a particularly powerful and motivating phrase for me. It means we believe in each other to do what we think is right.
FE: Be kind to yourself. At the same time, have a sense of humor about yourself. Humor is particularly useful for taking a step back and moving on.
RL: Really, the only mantra I repeat over and over is “you are so loved, you are so loved, you are so loved,” and I constantly say it in my head to strangers and I constantly say it out loud to everyone my friends.
I asked all of our contributors to send us recommendations for mental health-related books, apps, and podcasts. Here’s what they said:
If you need a good cry: Terrible, thanks for asking
If you need a good laugh: Undistinguished And WHO? Weekly
When you want to understand yourself: The hidden brain
When you want advice on mental illness: Mad; In bed
When we want to challenge society: The liturgists
If you are experiencing bereavement: “Modern loss» by Gabrielle Birkner and Rebecca Soffer
If you need lighter reading: “The dead suck» by Laurie Kilmartin
When you are self-critical: “The gift of imperfections» by Brené Brown
When you want brutal honesty: “Rabbit” by Patricia Williams
If you want to explore relationships: “Mating in captivity» by Esther Pérel
When you need to clear your mind: Headspace And Information timer
When you need to hold yourself accountable: Moment
If you want to change your emotional coherence: Inner balance
When you need to track your health: Hint
When you want to write down all your feelings: Day one
