“Keep Your Head Up Bend” Fundraiser Addresses Mental Health Theme

(Editor’s note: This article includes discussions on the topic of suicide. Additionally, the fundraiser mentioned in this article took place on September 9, 2023.)

About a year ago, the beautiful stretch of river in my life started to take on a different look. I did everything to avoid crossing, but the rivers flow into the sea and do not ask permission.

I talk about this in more detail in a previous mental health edition of Little Did I Know which you can find on this link.

But today, I’m not here to talk about that. I’m here to go back and say thank you for the flood of responses from people who said they could relate to what I was going through.

So now it’s time for me to check in and see how you are doing. Have you righted your boat? For me, this has been a year of ringing my bell and learning to see with different eyes.

RELATED: I Didn’t Know Much: Learning to Cope with Grief and Loss During the Holidays

“It seems like things start to soften after the second year of a major life transition or loss,” said Sarah Peterson, a licensed clinical social worker at Clear Mourning. “I think first-year people are kind of caught off guard and go through the shock of the first anniversary of the first anniversary, of the first vacation without the experience they had planned or without the person they thought they were going to be with.”

Buddha said that life is suffering and he is fundamentally right. I don’t know anyone who hasn’t experienced emotional trauma in their life. So to me that indicates that they must have value.

There is nothing to be ashamed of. You can even accept it. And the dream, of course, eventually becomes grateful for it, or at least a lot of it.

“Spend time in grief getting to know him,” Sarah said. “Because, again, even when we think about year one and two and how you can learn what to expect, the same goes with the waves of grief. The more time you spend paying attention to it and not pushing it away or getting completely consumed by it, the more you truly get to know it. Signs this is coming, trust that even if you dip into this wave, it will subside again.

“I think a lot of people are afraid, ‘Well, if I give in to this wave of grief, it’ll never stop.’ But it is. It’s fading. You will have a joyous time. You will laugh at something funny again,” she added.

Personally, I turn inward, then outward when dealing with grief. Mother Nature, for me, not only gives me perspective, but solitude allows me to confront some of the emotions that I might not yet be able to express to others.

“Until you give it a name, you can’t transform it,” Sarah said. “And untransformed pain is transmitted. So when you were hiking at that moment, the transformation of that pain potentially prevented you from transmitting it to the world around you or looping around.

Blaming yourself for not being able to return to who you once were is pointless. It’s not, but it gives you the opportunity to redefine who you are. And often, the answer to this question is a big step forward.

“If your goal is to go back to who you were, I don’t know if that’s achievable for you. After facing what you faced. So preparing yourself to live in perpetual disappointment only exacerbates the experience of grief,” Sarah said.

As fate would have it. As I was preparing to write this story, a former colleague contacted me and said she was hosting an event this Saturday for National Suicide Awareness Month.

“For this event, we want to get people talking about their mental health,” said Claire Meredith, who is organizing “Keep Your Head Up Bend” Saturday afternoon. “To encourage people to seek help when they need it and to simply lift our spirits through the healing power of live music.”

The event will take place at Bunk and Brew, 42 NW Hawthorne Avenue, from 2 p.m. to 10 p.m. Saturday. An optional $10 donation is requested at the door and proceeds will benefit the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention.

Musical performances include The Rumpeppers, Billy and the Box Kid, Not Your Ex Lover and others.

The event takes on a deeper meaning this year due to a recent reminder of the real issues at stake.

“I started planning this event at the end of May and then on July 23, our friend and beloved community member, Adam Braziel, took his own life and it was like being punched in the gut” , Claire said. “But we knew we had to continue to do this event and just make it bigger. We therefore expanded it in two stages.

If at this point you feel absolutely desperate and you simply don’t have time to wait. We have a wonderful resource in the area called the Deschutes County Stabilization Center. You can call them at 800-875-7364. You also call anytime, 24 hours a day, to 63311 NE Jamison Street in Bend, and meet someone face to face.

Sarah can be found at Clearmourning.org or come by Saturday.

Community isn’t always what it feels like when you’re feeling down, but a small change of mind can often change everything, sometimes instantly.

“Just do it. Get out. You’re going to meet some great people. You’re going to see some great music. We’ll also have several counselors here, volunteer counselors that you can talk to if you need support. And I think it’s perfect for people who are suffering and don’t want to come out. That’s what this event is for,” Claire said.

Guests are encouraged to bring photos or messages for loved ones they have lost to suicide, which can be displayed on the memorial wall.