Mental Health Week Blog by Ryan Moyer, FNHA Program Consultant for Mental Health and Wellbeing
“May hope forever wipe away your tears,
And above all, may silence make you strong.
-Chef Dan George
According to Google, self-care is yoga, meditation, and lemon water. Thanks Google, but we know that self-care is so much more than that.
Self-care isn’t about being self-centered, it’s about taking care of our families, our communities, our environments, and our workplaces. For those of us who don’t create routines for self-balancing behaviors (*Ryan raises hand), this is an important reality to remember and live by.
But what is it ?self‘thing we talk about when we say’self-care’?
For me, self-care is about dignity. Taking care of yourself means what needs to be said – honestly and respectfully. Without speaking our truth, we lose our dignity – we lose ourself. If we don’t know our truth, let’s not speak. If we know our truth, let’s speak it regardless of the outcome. I have colleagues who embody this quality and I aspire to it!
Last November, I had the chance to participate in a nighttime ceremony on Vancouver Island. Through chanting, prayer, medication and sitting meditation, I had the extreme dissatisfaction of feeling the results of times in my life where I spoke without dignity – selfishly, aggressively or manipulatively… times when I spoke without truth.
I relived these moments from a “third person” perspective. In fact, I felt the pain of losing my dignity – of distorting myself – and the pain it caused others.
The pain was overwhelming… (even compared to sitting in a mangled lotus position on a dirt floor for 12 hours as a guy whose only form of yoga is vacuuming under his couches).
As the eastern sky began to lighten in the morning, I realized: I need to stretch more. I also realized that the quality of all our relationships is determined by the quality of our self-care.
I couldn’t “undo” the times in my life when my relationships had become distorted and graceless because of unworthy speech, but I can recognizing these moments as they arise in the future and reminding myself that speaking the truth is a dignity.
Now, to take care of myself, I try to remember that if I don’t know my truth: that silence makes me strong.
