Talking to young people about diet and fitness can be difficult because parents don’t want their children to have self-esteem issues.
HISTORY HIGHLIGHTS
- Michelle Obama has been criticized for saying her daughters’ weight was once “unbalanced.”
- Observers say children’s weight problems should be kept out of public view
- Avoid discussing healthy eating challenges outside of the family, as children are sensitive
Michelle Obama introduces the campaign against childhood obesity on “Larry King Live” at 9 p.m. ET Tuesday. Send your questions to the first lady at CNN.com/LarryKing.
(CNN) — It’s a touchy subject when moms discuss their daughters’ weight.
It’s no different for the first lady.
When Michelle Obama mentioned that her daughters’ weight had been “out of balance” in her speeches about childhood obesity, she was criticized by parent bloggers and anti-eating disorder activists. They said the first lady inadvertently called attention to the weight of her two young daughters when they were at a sensitive age.
Obama’s mention of his daughters in this context raised an issue that many parents may face. When parents become aware of a possible health problem related to their children’s weight, how can they resolve this problem without causing self-esteem problems in young people?
It’s better to address a weight problem directly with children rather than pretend it doesn’t exist, said Dr. Tom Robinson, director of the Center for Healthy Weight at Stanford University School of Medicine. .
“In our experience, obese children know that they are heavy. They may compare themselves to their peers or the children they see in the media, and it is not uncommon for them to have been teased about of their weight,” he said.
Parents should have an open dialogue with their children and assure them that they are loved, regardless of their weight, he said.
Obama will unveil more details on Tuesday about his national campaign to combat childhood obesity. Although his discussion of his daughters sparked controversy, observers say Obama had good intentions in personalizing a glaring public health problem.
“What she was probably doing was making people understand that she was saying this as a mother, that she had faced this issue,” said Marilyn Tanner-Blasiar, a spokeswoman for the American Dietetic Association. “She was bringing it home, but it was received poorly. It’s a delicate issue, and it’s important to be honest about it, but you have to be careful, because kids listen.
“They go on high alert when the topic concerns them, even if they act like they’re not listening. They will hear. If it’s going to be hurtful or hurt, you don’t want to go there.” , Tanner said. -Blasiar, who works with children.
Obama explained that at one point the family pediatrician “warned that he was concerned that something was out of balance” with his children’s body mass index, in a Jan. 28 speech in Alexandria , in Virginia.
She said the family solved the problem with small changes: Daughters Malia and Sasha drank water instead of sugary drinks, low-fat milk instead of whole milk and reduced their TV time.
Blogger Jeanne Sager questioned the effect Obama’s comments might have on girls. Sager wrote on a Stroller derby blog: “Their mother strives to act for the common good, but she has exposed an extremely delicate subject.
Video: Fighting childhood obesity
Video: Obama’s fight against obesity
“They’re raised in front of everyone. There are some things that should be kept private,” said Sager, who struggled with bulimia as a teenager.
Dr. Ovidio Bermudez, medical director of the eating disorders program at Laureate Psychiatric Clinic and Hospital in Tulsa, Oklahoma, said weight issues are usually a sensitive topic and should be discussed within family.
“Imagine if a child loses their hair,” he said. “It’s something that would be approached privately with a lot of sensitivity to their emotions and their implications. It’s the same thing with weight. You have to be very careful not to take something so close to the emotion (and put it) in the public eye. These things should be treated (treated) as private matters.
Nutritionists and pediatricians gave advice on ways to solve children’s diet and fitness problems:
Focus on health, not weight
Praise your children for lifestyle behaviors such as “Great snack choice” or “You run really fast” rather than for losing a pound or two, said Tanner-Blasiar, a registered dietitian.
Be a health partner, not the cop
This doesn’t work if a parent monitors what the child eats and their activities. Parents can improve the health of the entire family by not buying junk food, sugary drinks, avoiding fast foods, and planning weekend activities for the whole family. Not being part of the police does not mean that children are left to their own devices. Parents need to set firm limits, Robinson said.
Treat children equally
Even if one of your children has obesity-related issues and another doesn’t, make sure one doesn’t get a cookie and the other doesn’t get a stick of broccoli. The disparity in treatment breeds resentment and negativity, experts say.
Create an open environment to discuss issues
Sudden weight fluctuations may have nothing to do with food. The child might have emotional problems that trigger eating disorders, said Lynn Grefe, executive director of the National Eating Disorders Association.
Move
Don’t just talk about eating right and exercising. Lead by example by making changes to your family lifestyle. Turn off televisions and computers. Look for ways to spend fun, active time together.
Here are the things to avoid:
Don’t play the blame game
Avoid yelling, bribing, threatening or punishing children about their weight, diet or physical activity. These issues can become battlegrounds between parents and children that breed shame and anger. The more children feel bad about their weight, the more likely they are to overeat or develop an eating disorder.
Don’t label your children
Some parents give labels to their children. Tanner-Blasiar said she encounters families who label their children slow, fast, skinny or fat. Be careful, she says, because sometimes kids “live up to their labels.”
Don’t criminalize the cupcake
An occasional treat is okay, as long as the treats are eaten in moderation. Banning something tends to have unexpected effects.
Don’t denigrate your own weight
Children always listen and internalize what their parents say and do. Parents who inadvertently devalue themselves and their own personalities could pass this on to their children.
Avoid the f-word
Getting to a healthy weight doesn’t mean getting thinner or prettier. Focus on health rather than appearances.
