The Self-Care Solution: A Guide for Busy Women

Self-care is important, but do you know what it looks like?

“I can’t seem to find the time to take care of myself.”

“I wouldn’t know where to start.”

“I feel selfish even talking about this.”

These are some of the things we might say to ourselves or hear from others when the topic of self-care comes up. But not taking good care of ourselves can leave us demotivated and burned.

Take a vacation, for example. Too few of us take time off, even when we deserve it. Americans are half as likely to take a vacation in a given week today as they were 40 years ago, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics. Compared to other races, Black people were the least likely to have taken a vacation between 2018 and 2022.

This is true even though many of us have reconsidered the way we work as the pandemic transformed our relationships at work. The “Great Resignation” appears to be over and many office workers have returned to their desks. But our habit of not taking vacations predates the pandemic and may speak to a larger phenomenon of lack of self-care.

Self-care: not a destination, but a journey

What is self-care? It is defined by the World Health Organization as “the capacity of individuals, families and communities to promote health, prevent disease, maintain health and cope with illness and disability with or without support from a health worker”. But I believe it’s broader than that: self-care is what you do every day to take care of yourself as a whole; be in good physical, emotional, mental and spiritual health. Self-care is not a destination but a journey.

This may be a foreign concept to many black women. All our lives we have been told that we have to “work twice as hard to get half as far” and have our contributions recognized. We may also have had few models of self-care among our immediate family members, elders, and ancestors who had to work long hours or hold multiple jobs to provide for their families. We may not feel like we have the time or resources to take care of ourselves. We may even think that taking care of ourselves is selfish and feel guilty for centering our needs. Self-care is a practice that we must learn and take intentional steps to incorporate into our lives.

If you’re not taking all of your paid time off or regularly taking work home, it’s a sign that you may be neglecting your self-care. But work is only one measure. Feeling too much stress even when you’re away from work, it could be another one. Being in poor mental or physical health can also be a sign that you need to rebalance the time and energy spent on others and give more to yourself.

Take a moment to check in with a self-care assessment tool. Follow the instructions to find out how often and how well you take care of yourself. Then spend time reviewing your responses and note any trends. Consider the results and reflect on your assessment in a journal. Answer these questions:

What surprises me most about my results?

What area of ​​self-care needs the most attentionand why?

What action would I like to take to improve my self-care right now?

For other ways to improve your self-care, here are eight ways to put them into practice.

8 steps to take better care of yourself

1. Define and apply borders. You can set boundaries at work by closing your office door when you need privacy, asking your coworkers to set up appointments to meet with you rather than stopping by, and not checking your emails. emails after work hours. With family or friends, you simply cannot answer the phone easily or take your time responding to a text message. You can even block people who are not healthy for you.
2. Just say no. No, period, is the clearest boundary of all. If you really don’t have time for this new working committee or if you don’t want to attend an event, don’t hesitate to say no. We all have limits and need to protect our time and mental health in order to say yes to the things we really want and have the time and energy to do them.
3. Sleep well. Sleep really is essential to our well-being, but around a third of us don’t get the recommended seven hours a night. Without it, we may feel sleepy during the day, have mood swings, lose our memory, and have difficulty concentrating on tasks. To sleep better, maintain a consistent sleep schedule: develop a bedtime routine that excludes electronic devices and includes time with a good book or journal, and make your bedroom a calm, comfortable sanctuary.
4. Plan and take time off. In addition to summer vacations or vacations, be sure to take personal days and long weekends throughout the year. You earn your paid leave: use it! Free time allows you to relax and recharge your batteries. If your budget doesn’t cover travel right now, consider stays that include day trips to local parks, botanical gardens, or other recreational areas.
5. Be physically active. Take short walks during the day if you don’t have time for a longer routine. Or invite a family member or friend to participate in an activity together: a class, regular hikes, or a new sport like pickleball. Exercise is essential to your health and can improve your mood.
6. Connect with others. Getting together with friends or neighbors can reduce isolation and strengthen the bonds between you and others. Make a date with a girlfriend for brunch or a walk, or to visit a museum or see a play.
7. Take up a hobby or two. Do you remember the things you loved doing as a child? Things that made you forget what time it was and completely absorbed your attention? Find a way to generate that wonder and enthusiasm, perhaps by taking a cooking or art class, doing puzzles or crosswords, or creating a garden or scrapbook. Hobbies can enrich our minds and allow us to grow and expand our interests beyond work.
8. Cultivate your spirituality. Whether you go to church, meditate, or read inspiring books, give yourself the time and space to engage in a spiritual practice regularly. Research suggests that spirituality is linked to lower levels depression and greater longevity.